January 29, 2014

My thoughts on friendship: the layers

When I call someone my 'friend' what do I mean? I call people I see once a week and my little sister who is always around, my 'friends'. However, this doesn't mean both groups are on the same level. for me, there are several different types of friendship.
  • Acquaintances
    • These are people whose names I know and I see once every few months. I don't really know anything personal about them, nor they me.
    • Many people can be in this layer.
  • Friend
    • The generic 'friend' is someone I see at least once a week, but only at events organized by others. For me, this is debate and other school classes. I see these individuals at least once a week, but we don't meet or talk outside of those events.
    • Many people can be in this layer.
  • Confidante ie. best friend
    • The person not in your family to whom I tell EVERYTHING. I see this person multiple times a week outside of events or classes and talk to them at daily. (This is my definition. I know adult 'best friend' relationships work differently but I am, as Mark Twain suggested, writing what I know.)
    • Position available *not everyone has a confidante, (I don't) and that's OK.
    • People who don't have confidantes and don't have super super close relationships with their family often end up feeling lonely. The reason for this is although I adore my parents and siblings, I can't and don't expect my little brother or my sister who is 6yrs younger than I am to understand what I am feeling or thinking. This leads to next subpoint:
    • When someone says "I don't have any friends" yet they obviously have people who they interact frequently with, this layer is what they are missing. You can see someone every day through school, but they still might not be your confidante.
    • Typically only one or two people are in this layer at a time.
  • Family
    • For some this layer is even closer than a confidante, for others, not so much.
  • ME
    • I know absolutely everything about myself (in addition to being the only one who knows what I am thinking at all times ;) and therefore AM at the very center of this circle. Don't let it go to your head :)